Tailgaters are my servants.

I own them.

I control their emotions.

I control their destiny.

I abuse them and there is nothing they can do about it!

I only let them pass when they no longer amuse me.

If you are a tailgater, you owe me your tithes and offerings.

Did you ever wake up at the crack of dawn and wonder who broke it?

More importantly, who’s going to fix it?

We have had puppies, kittens and children.

From what I can tell, it takes longer to house train the children, but they live longer.

Unlike most dogs and cats, children all eventually run away, so you shouldn’t get too attached to them.

I bought digital windows for my house.

Their clarity is unbelievable.

I’m saving up for new digital plumbing next.

Do you ever wonder if you are losing your mind?

Me neither. I was just checking.