You planted the wrong trees in my yard!

I wanted the kind with no leaves or branches.

That’s what I need to build my log cabin.

You never saw one with leaves and branches did you?

Those are called tree houses.

I used to have a sense of humor before I lost my senses.

I also lost my sense of taste. I know because people say I am tasteless.

My sense of reality?

I told you already! Weren’t you listening?

I have an awesome idea for a new invention. It would be installed on every phone. When someone says something “less than smart,” a device will send a jolt of electricity through their ears. In fact, the other party should have the option to press the button that sends the message.

They use shock therapy in mental institutions and that is what the world has become.

I think I’ll start writing my journal in advance. That way I’ll have some control over what happens to me.

It’s a good idea, don’t you think?

I painted my house infrared and the shutters ultra-violet. The home owner’s association sent me a registered letter but couldn’t find me to deliver it.