The exterminator sprayed the Pentecostal church for fire ants.

Now the people act like Baptists.

Findings from a recent study have been released, showing that the average adult gets nearly 1,300 milligrams of antioxidants from coffee per day.  Now, I’m not your average person, as my wife will attest, so I figure I get around 2500 milligrams of antioxidants from coffee each day.  What can I say?  I like coffee!

Google this for more information on the study.

Armed with this good news, I made another pot this morning just to make sure I was well protected.  I wondered what I was protecting myself from and then it dawned on me.  Metal rusts when it oxidizes.  The antioxidants found in coffee must be protecting my guts from rusting.  No one wants rusty guts, do they?  I mean, if your guts are rusty, you will emit all kinds of groaning noises when you move just like the door on my car.
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I have lots of girls in my life and I love them all. Let me introduce them to you.

The Girls - These are a couple of my dogs. They are both girls, so I call them The Girls which makes sense when you think about it. We have another dog who is a girl, but she’s like Aunt Clara on Bewitched, so she’s too goofy to be one of the girls.

My Red-Headed Girlfriend - This is Annie, one of The Girls. She’s got reddish hair and I’m her favorite. Consequently, she’s my little red-headed girfriend, which also makes sense when you think about it.
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Baptist preachers all talk with a Texas accent.

That’s where they make them, you know.

I got seven hours of sleep last night and I can’t remember where I put it.