Earl’s Bafroom Book
Y’all might be wonderin’ ’bout why I calls this Earl’s Bafroom Book. Well, it’s simple when ya think about it. The stories I wrote in this book are ’bout the size you can read when yer in the bafroom. Any longer and you’d stay in there too long. Any shorter and you’d finish before you is finished. B’sides, I also wrote most of ‘em when I wuz in the bafroom. Actually, I weren’t in a bafroom, I wuz in the outhouse cuz we ain’t got no bafroom, but I figure most city folks wouldn’t look at my book if I called it Earl’s Outhouse Book and most country folks don’t read in their outhouse cuz it’s mostly dark. Me and Enid got a small moon window on our outhouse door so we can see in there. Me and Enid is lucky to have that.
Some of my words ain’t too big and mostly I write how I talk which is how most folks should talk if they talk right. City folks talk funny, but that’s cuz they got a edjumacation which teaches ‘em to talk wrong. I got some smarts like city folks, but my smarts is differnt cuz they is country smarts. I write about God and stuff and how God is in my life even though I don’t understand Pastor Fred sumtimes. He says stuff that don’t make no sense so I ask him ’bout it cuz I want to know.
If you read my bafroom book, I’ll learn you about two-holers and religion. You’ll read excitin’ things like Ruger and the Lagoon, Poison Ivory, Pretendin’ to be Blind and The Pope’s Pointy Hat, which looks like the one Enid’s cousin wears when he plays dress-up with his friends. I wrote lots of stuff in my book and I did it all by myself.
This is my first bafroom book and I’ll probly write more cuz Enid got me a new box of pencils and a Big Chief tablet. When I get that one filled up, I’ll probly make Earl’s Bafroom Book Number 2, or maybe not b’cuz that name sounds funny.
Anyway, I hope you like readin’ my book cuz I liked writin’ it.
You can read my book now cuz this part’s done.
- Earl