Most Christians avoid the public use of certain words.

Walk into any hardware store and tell them you want a 3/4" nipple and they will hand you one. Tell them you want a file and they might ask, "Bastard?" Some Christians can’t say a dog is a bitch, but they can refer to a female horse as a mare or a pig as a sow.

You won’t hear Isaiah 36:12 quoted in church.

Christians might quote 1 Thess. 5:22 when asked why they behave this way.
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Okay, back to the real world.

Wake up! Wake up! Fine!

Drool your life away! See if I care!

I took the ball away from the dog.

It isn’t fair that he gets all the good toys!

It’s okay. I traded him my wife’s shoe for it.

My head is such a mess,

I can’t find a maid that will go in there and clean up once a week.

Good help is hard to find.

I taped a flashlight to the roof of my car.

Now people think I’m a policeman.

Can I have my gun back now?