They say if you love something, set it free. If it returns, it was yours. If not, it never was.

I let myself go.

I don’t think I’m coming back.

Stick a magnet in one ear then put ten BBs in your other ear. Start counting and see how long it takes all ten to reach the magnet.

I get to three.

That’s good, isn’t it?

It’s courteous to dim your lights when approached by oncoming traffic.

My dimmer switch doesn’t work so I close my eyes.

It works about the same.

I zoned out while driving on the way home from work last night. When I came to, I wasn’t nearly as far as I thought I should be.

Either my zones aren’t what they used to be or someone stretched the road.

What exactly is duck sauce made from?

It’s frightens me to think about it. I can’t imagine what it does for the duck.